One of the difficulties of being human is the rumination of the mind.
Am I making the most of life?
What am I here to do?
Is this the right industry for me to work in?
Am I doing enough to help others?
Do I spend enough time with my family and friends?
These are only a few of the concerns that we have bellowing in our minds like a screeching cacophony that never dies. In phenomenology, ‘intentionality’ explains that our consciousness is always circling, going around, and directed towards something. Even when we are asleep, our minds conjure vivid hallucinations or nightmarish possibilities. We still fear in our sleep, hence why we grind our teeth or wake up sweating having dreamt of being fired from our jobs or breaking up with our partner.
Even in rest, our minds keep going.
When can we pause? When can the human mind relax and stop berating itself from within, constantly punishing itself for trying to make sense of its individuality in this spectrum of reality?
As a 24 year old, I struggle with this self-punishment.
Why am I not making enough money?
Why do I still live at home?
Why am I not in the position at work I crave for?
Why have I not had a book published, directed a film or become ‘something’?
Then, it hit me.
I looked to those who had the job I wanted and told them of how I envied them so. One of them said: ‘it’s not all it’s cracked up to be when you get here.’
He meant it.
It made me think that we are all searching for an authentic sense of contentment or fulfilment. We thrive and strive our whole lives to become a director, an actress, a manager or whatever it may be because, we are told, once we are ‘successful’ we will be ‘content.’
It seems, however, when we make it to the top of that career, become famous, a millionaire, whatever it may be, but we just don’t make it to ‘happiness’: that abstract feeling we all crave.
What is it, then, about the state of humankind that makes us so utterly miserable with our lives?
It is because we need a constant. We need a constant in a friend, a lover, a colleague, a human.
Notice how these are only relationships. Constancy can only be found in you and your relationship to others. Nothing else can give you ‘happiness.’
Money can buy you things, sure.
Success can make you well-known, sure.
But just imagine all that without relationship.
How pointless would it all be.
The constant in life is YOU and others.
So give your friend a text saying you love them. Give your mum a hug. Give your grandpa time to talk.
At the end of it all, that is all we had of worth. Relationship. Constant relationship.
Through it all, though, there is only one constant relationship. One that is eternal, everlasting.
That is God.
You may not believe, but I promise you if you ask him, if you pray to Him, if you seek help, he will help you – he will be your friend, your Father, your maker.
The only constant relationship is with God.
Everything else is mere ashes, glowing incarnadine until turning black, as life itself passes into dust.
Yet it is He who will be there to safely cradle you to Paradise and rejoin you in love with all those that passed away on Earth.